Diet. On the first day of the week, you need to take an egg, on the second - boil it, on the third - peel it, on the fourth day the protein is eaten, on the fifth - the yolk is absorbed, but on the weekend you need to arrange for yourself an unloading.
Be aware that the diet has only worked if the dirt on the road looks like chocolate, not shit.
The fruit salad according to my grandmother's recipe turns out to be so high in calories that only a fried elephant can probably be more fatty.
Do you want to bring your weight back to normal? In this case, all drinks and food should be replaced by kefir.
Best status:
A highly effective diet invented by the Chinese: there are no restrictions on food, only food must be controlled with one stick.
I sat on a severe diet, now I only allow myself to look at pictures.
Today we finally decided to start a diet with our friends. This event had to be celebrated at McDonald's.
The most effective diet is depresnyak for losing extra pounds. Do you want to lose weight? File for divorce, fall unrequitedly in love with someone, and be sad for days on end all alone. Hateful kilos will disappear like ice cream in the open sun. And if you do not bend, your figure will become slim again.
For me personally, as soon as problems with the Internet begin, the thoughts of a diet disappear by themselves.
Meat to me! Blood to me! - Look in the fridge: sausage with ketchup on the top shelf.
I would like to find such a diet to lose extra pounds, but at the same time, so that the breasts do not shrink.
Thin girls want to get better a little, plump girls dream of losing weight, and girls, who are all right with their weight, tend to do both, only in different parts of the body))
Do you want to lose weight? - Shut up!
In order to lose weight in some places, you must not eat in some places.
There are no fat women, there are frail men!
There should be a lot of good people. A good girl - a maximum of 300 grams more than Kate Moss.
I am a doe. A fat, devoured doe.
My desire to lose weight is stronger than to eat !!!)
French diet: sex and cupcake for breakfast, cupcake and sex for lunch, sex and cupcake for dinner ... and if the diet does not help - exclude the cupcake!
The best diet is sadness! Nobody talks about her, but everyone knows very well. So, from my sadness, I will become anorexic (.
New super diet, click on the red cross, tear your ass off the chair and finally go out for a walk and cellulite is gone))
Diet - like a rodeo, you can't resist - blow it to hell !!!
Diet is when you don't eat sausage, but secretly hamster it!
Libra - a mood indicator
- Doctor, your apple diet for weight loss does not help me! - Do you wash your apples? - Yes. - Try not to wash.
The diet does not lead to good. Yesterday in the store I was looking for the calorie content on the packaging with pads. The husband looked with pity (((
The best diet is LOVE)))
She went on a diet. I go into the kitchen, I see a bun ... I walk past it and say, "Live mortal!" I really feel like a superman! ..
Girl: I am sitting on three diets, I am not full of two!
the best diet is to seal your mouth with scotch tape ?? DON'T EAT TAPE)))
I have no conscience. I weigh less without her
I will exchange 10 kilograms of weight for 10 centimeters of height !!!
the best and most effective diet is the Internet! there is no time to eat at all!
Calories ... These are little dirty tricks .. Who come at night and make clothes.
all! I'm on a chocolate diet!
Our women are so harsh that they drink slimming tea with cake ...
Activia is the answer to the great question: "How to sell a liter of kefir at a price of 10"
First, do not eat after 6, and by 11 o'clock you get drunk so that no diet will help!
Diet is simple: eat something that is sick to look at!
A diet is when you hold back all day and do not eat, and at night you open the refrigerator and eat!
Yes, I don’t have 90-60-90 .. But the first number I have is 100, so I don’t care about the last 2.
Hey I have a great diet three meals a day Monday, Wednesday, Friday!
Better to be a fool, but with a good figure !!!
Summer is coming - hello diet!
What else to eat like this .. To lose weight)))
For breakfast - thoughts again. For lunch - again cigarettes. For dinner - all together and tears ... This is a Special diet.
I'm not thin, I just didn't have breakfast!
The best diet is when you go to the pharmacy for a medicine for weight loss, and before reaching the pharmacy you accidentally go to the store.
I love when he is near, I thirst to eat him, my treasure ... I LOVE YOU, MY DEAR! my favorite chocolate ...
The best diet is shopping without money: extra pounds are salivated ...
To eat this, to lose weight ...
Thoughts at a late supper. Lord, if only all the calories go to boobs!
A diet is when you don't eat sausage, but secretly hamster it!
I'm losing weight from tomorrow: goodbye, extra pounds !!! And you, boobs, I'll ask you to stay! ... =)
The Internet is the best diet! 😀
She went on a diet. I go into the kitchen, I see a bun ... I walk past it and say "Live mortal!" I just feel like a superman)))
I don't eat bread, he gets fat from me
Divorce, fall in love with someone who does not love you, live alone and be sad from morning to evening. The extra pounds will melt like snow in the sun. Your body will become lean again and can serve you perfectly - if you survive, of course.
Sitting with a friend, we drink tea with jam, (and we have a diet) I: "not in jam, that is all natural ... well, except for sugar =) * wild rzhach *
There is no sadder story in the world. than the story of a dieter
We haven't eaten for two weeks because we're models.
Diet is when you impose food on the cat and nervously lick your lips)
Super diet! Efficiency 100%! Just one rule: if it tastes good, spit it out immediately!
Diet is when we went to the kitchen for an apple, and suddenly ate a cutlet.
Today's women hide weight, not age.
Love the salad and low-fat cottage cheese like yourself. Rejoice raw carrots, for they are the true Diet!
Eat. With an appetite and beautiful. The word "diet" is annoying.
My stomach asks for food, my appetite dances in it, the cold wind whistles in it and rustles my guts ...
If you gained 5kg again in a week, then your best friend advised you on this diet.
The best diet is a session !!!
All your statuses about the diet didn’t lead me to think ... if I don’t go on a diet ... then I will be the fattest ... all ... starting from Monday I start starving with you ...)
The French diet is coffee, sex and cigarette.
The saddest dish in the world is mashed potatoes. It seems to be an ordinary potato, but so depressed ...
Highly fat woman, wanting to lose weight, hung a memo in her kitchen: "I don't eat after six." The husband added: "MORNING !!!"
I was on a diet for 14 days and only lost two weeks.
There is no story sadder in the world .. than the story of a dieter!
Either I am a diet, or she is me!
Have an appetite? Do not slow down, eat everything.
White does not make the cookies look fat ...
Stopping the microwave 1 second before turning off, you feel like the savior of the world.
Anything I like is either illegal, immoral, or obese.
with the advent of cookies in the house, my diet automatically ended)
Wow, you've lost weight. What kind of diet? -The hospital is called
A healthy appetite should first of all be for life, not for food ...
remember friends, the diet always starts tomorrow =))
The only good news is that they lose weight from grief. Nobody advertises this diet, and yet it is the most effective of all. Depression Slimming. Want to lose weight?
Diet like a rodeo, can't resist, blow to hell!
New super diet! In three days it will be difficult to notice you even with a keen eye, exclude from the diet only 2 products - food and water ..
I have an excellent diet in mind: "ENOUGH TO EAT!"
To hell with the diet - carry the cutlet !!))
Loneliness is a diet of the soul, deadly if long ...
Kefir diet cheers up if I find kefir diluted with a loaf of bread and a loaf of boiled sausage. 🙂
Think about those who will carry you in their arms. DO NOT EAT FOR THE NIGHT.
Losing weight on three diets at once! I don’t fill up on one ...
Diet - like a rodeo, you can't resist - blow it to hell !!!
New diet: 3 days - juices only; 5 days - only porridge; 7 days - apples only. Then 9 days ... Then 40 days.
A diet is when you don't eat sausage, but secretly hamster it!
I watched the program "Eat and Lose Weight" I realized that "D" is superfluous here ...
I heard that coal is useful for losing weight ... I’m thinking - drink or unload ?!
Well, of course, I'm overweight! After birth, I only weighed 3 kg!
There is nothing harder than becoming easier ...
Love raw carrots, low-fat cottage cheese, salad as yourself and you will comprehend the truth of being.
Spring, the first scales appear from under the beds…. Starvation diets are coming ...
Great diet: a glass of water 3 days before meals.
I'm losing weight from tomorrow: goodbye, extra pounds !!! And you boobs, I'll ask you to stay!
Do not be discouraged if you are terribly drawn to eat in the dark, maybe you are just a priestess of the night!
A diet that instantly cheers up - get a bag of kefir, dilute it with a loaf of bread and a piece of boiled milk.
I'm losing weight ... don't offer sweets ... don't invite me to visit, don't give tea, don't feed through the cage ...
I'm on a special whiskey diet. I've lost three days already ...
There is no sadder story in the world. Than the story of a dieter.
I went on a diet, did not eat after six, did not eat after seven, did not eat after eight ... But when midnight came, I could not resist ...
And why are sweets wrapped in such a rustling wrapper? The whole apartment can hear me losing weight ...
Do you want to lose weight? Drink kefir! ..and eat kefir.
I went on a diet ... In the evening I could not stand it, I cracked sweet ... Well, to hell with this diet! I'll be soft and sweet.
In order to lose weight in some places, you must not eat in some places!
My diet comes to an end when my computer suddenly freezes or the Internet turns off.
Scientists have figured out the thing that makes people fat the most. If you refuse it, then the person loses weight 100%. This thing is a refrigerator.
I don’t eat bread; it makes me fat.
The wife went on a diet - lost one and a half kilograms ...
I have a great diet in mind: “ENOUGH TO EAT!
My stomach asks for food, my appetite dances in it, the cold wind whistles in it and rustles my guts ...
I'm losing weight, but he finds me all the time!
Puree "Diet" - without oil, salt and potatoes.
I'm tired of this diet. Rather, all remember me as I am now, I went to eat a lot and get fat ...
If you gained 5kg again in a week, then your best friend advised you on this diet.
Men! Beware! I'm going out on the trail of a tough diet!
We all have ... a friend who eats for days, like a hippopotamus, and nifiga does not get fat.
I got on a new diet ... bread and vodka ...
To eat this, to lose weight ...
Calories are the germs that grow your belly and butt!
The cakes were so light and airy that a couple of extra pounds flew in quickly and unnoticed.
It was the third hour of my diet ... but the priest sticking out of the refrigerator knew that this was the end ...
A very effective Chinese diet: you can eat EVERYTHING! With just one stick!
The most vicious animal is a girl dieting during her period and trying to quit smoking.
Scientists claim that the human body grows only up to 25 years, but probably neither the stomach nor the ass knows about this ...
Spring has dragged on so that we have time to lose weight.
Appetite broke out ??? Look at cellulite.
Diet is when I went to the kitchen for an apple, and suddenly ate a cutlet.
Girls, remember, during the diet, lard should be eaten without bread !!!
The best diet is when you go to the pharmacy for a medicine for weight loss, and before reaching the pharmacy you accidentally go to the store.
Any, even the most effective diet, certainly begins only tomorrow.
I will exchange 10 kilograms of weight for 10 centimeters of height !!!
If you are afraid of getting fat, be sure to drink a glass of wine before eating. Alcohol kills the feeling of fear.
In order to lose weight quickly, you need to sit on buckwheat ... Tell me, how many more days should I sit on this bag?
When mom goes on a diet, the whole family will automatically switch to 3 meals a day ... Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
The best diet is shopping without money: extra pounds are salivated ...
What powder to wash in order to lose weight by 3 sizes !?
Diet is another way to improve your appetite, proven yourself.
As soon as you go on a diet, someone is right there to eat.
A woman goes on a diet in three cases: when a man leaves her, when she turns on a man and if today is Monday.
This morning slim stomach that even breakfast is a pity.
To lose weight, you must either sleep while eating or eat only in your sleep.
I have no conscience. I weigh less without her.
She went on a diet. I go into the kitchen, I see a bun ... I walk past it and say "Live mortal!" I just feel like a superman.
How much do we Russians need? .. A pack of dumplings, a pot of borscht, a kilogram of sausage. Well, eat something.
Sat on an apple diet. It took two days. There are no apples left. The end of the diet!
When I eat, I am deaf and dumb! It’s necessary to eat so that the ears are clogged!
I wish there was such a device that would work after six in the evening - I opened the refrigerator, and instead of bread I got it in a bread machine!
The best diet - SESSION!
Hunger pills have been invented for a long time. They are called cutlets.
The best and most effective diet is the Internet! there is no time to eat at all!
Funny and funny quotes, jokes, jokes, humor about diet
One woman's gaze at another is like checking baggage at customs. (
Anything I like is either illegal, immoral, or obese. (aphorism author: Alexander Woolcott)
Everything in life has weight, but not everything is weighted. (quoted by Leonid S. Sukhorukov)
Every fat person contains a thin one who cries out to be released. (quoted by Cyril Connolly)
The main difficulty with the 90 Day Diet is that once it is completed, not everyone is able to adjust to the new prices. (quoted by Zhanna Golonogova)
Hunger is not only the best cook, but also the best doctor.
Diet is another appetite-enhancing agent. (Phrase writer: Evan Ezar)
Diet is a period of fasting preceding weight gain. (
Diet - fostering a strong will with a weak stomach. (author of the aphorism: Bankovskie)
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. (aphorism author: Fran Lebowitz)
The only way to lose weight is to redefine your goals in life. (by Cyril Connolly)
If what some call health comes at the cost of endless worry about diet, then that’s no better than long-term illness. (quoted by George Dennison Prentice)
If you want to lose weight, eat everything, but do not swallow anything. (aphorism author: Harry Seecom)
If you want to look young and slim, stay close to the old and fat. (humor author: Jim Eason)
Women go on a diet only in three cases:
1. if their husband left them;
2. if they like a man;
3. if today is Monday.
(
Women never eat dinner alone. If they are dining alone, it is not dinner. (utterance writer: Henry James)
Forget about calories: any food makes the skinny even thinner, and the fat even thicker. (quoted by Minion McLaughlin)
The fat man's cherished dream: to lose weight, overeating ... (humor author: Ilya Gerchikov)
True weight is an exceptional gravity ... (
Everyone needs their own weight, but not everyone runs the risk of weighing themselves in front of everyone ...
When you finally weigh exactly as much as you would like to weigh, you want to place that weight differently. (humor author: Yanina Ipohorskaya)
When you tighten the belt, the stomach gets closer to the heart (
Better time from time to time to malnourish, than to constantly overeat. (
Best selling cookbooks. In second place are books on diets - how not to eat what you just learned to cook. (quoted by Andy Rooney)
The best way to lose weight is to eat as much as you want what you hate. (aphorism author: unknown)
The best way to lose weight is to shut your mouth, a very difficult task for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch, not eat. (quoted by Edward I. Koch)
Excessive weight of a person, and especially a woman, is the cause of many everyday problems. (author of the statement: Pshekruj)
Love feeds not only on feelings, but also on steaks. (
On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do or think anything, but when he is full, he cannot. (author of the aphorism: F. Ranevskaya).
They first go on a diet, then lie. (humor author: Tamara Kleiman)
Don't put off anything you can eat at lunch until dinner. (quoted by A.S. Pushkin)
Today's women hide weight, not age. (humor author: Ratmir Tumanovsky)
Never eat more than you can handle. (utterance writer: Henry Beard)
Loneliness is to the mind what a hunger diet is to the body: sometimes it is necessary, but it should not be too long. (quoted by Luc de Clapier Vauvenargue)
She went on a diet and soon noticed that she was living longer. (author of the aphorism: Vladimir Terentyev)
She adhered to the most severe diets, went to the gym, jogged in the mornings and evenings. The acquaintances thought they were crazy about fat. (quoted by V. Semyonov)
I can say the same about airplanes as about diet: this is the best advice for another person. (quoted by Jean Kerr)
Poetry as spiritual food is the best diet. (phrase author: Konstantin Kushner) Pluralism: some adhere to a diet, others prefer to sit on it. (author of the statement: Leonid S. Sukhorukov) Too many people break down without even knowing how close to success they were at the moment they lost heart. (utterance author: unknown) According to the classic Russian diet, you need to eat once a day. But from morning to evening! (humor author: Mikhail Zadornov) The body is the baggage that you carry all your life. The heavier it is, the shorter the journey. (aphorism author: Arnold Glasgow) The body must be kept in such a way that the soul does not want to leave it. (humor author: unknown) Fat people live less. But they eat longer. (author of black humor: Stanislav Jerzy Lec) Do not eat a lot in one sitting, excess food will eat you. ( There cannot be too many a good person. (humor author: unknown) They lose weight when food is not the most important joy in life. ( They often lose measure in drinking than in food. (the author of the aphorism: Pythagoras) How more people dieting, the more abundant nutritionists eat. (humor author: Valentin Domil) An honest woman is a woman who never lies, unless, of course, it is about her age, her weight and her husband's earnings. (quote author: unknown) What, don't you like rice porridge? And your body loves her. ( To lose 100 g of weight, you need 1 kg of will. (funny humor of the unknown) To lose weight, do not eat just three foods - proteins, fats and carbohydrates. (humor author: E. Malysheva) To really lose weight, it is enough to give up three things - breakfast, lunch and dinner. (humor author: Frank Lloyd Wright) To extend life, cut back on portions. (aphorism author: Benjamin Franklin) To lose weight, you need to burn at work, passionately love and moderately extinguish the feeling of hunger. ( To lose weight well, you need to gain weight poorly. (quoted by Valery Afonchenko) I eat just to avoid thinking about food. (humor author: N.F.Simpson) I'm not going to starve myself to live a little longer. (quoted by Irene Peter) I switched to a strict diet and in three weeks lost seven kg and eight friends. ( I was on a diet for 14 days and only lost two weeks. ( I am fat, but thin on the inside. Has it ever occurred to you that inside every fat person there is a thin one, just like, according to the popular expression, a statue inside every stone? (quoted by George Orwell)