The life of every man is a heroic path, which he begins as a little boy and can end as a mature man who realizes his integrity and value. On this path, every man must go through 5 main stages of the development of the psyche.
Stage 1. Getting rid of the mother complex
I think that there is not a single son who, becoming a man, would not break off relations with his mother for a while. Staying with her, the son will never get rid of the maternal complex. The son needs to listen to his own voice and let it be louder than the mother's. Often the mother does everything to keep him. For example, it instills the idea of devotion to oneself, but if this idea takes possession of the son completely, everything will end up with the masculine being seriously affected.
A future man should avoid this and leave his mother., even if at some point such an act seems like a betrayal. The mother must endure this pain. However, later the son may return to establish a relationship with his mother on a completely different level. But this will happen only after the son gains independence on his own and learns to establish emotional relationships with peers. .
Often the maternal complex is strongly supported by the mother., who does not understand what it means to be just a woman, a person, because she never felt like that - only a mother. For her, taking off the role means psychological death, so she clings to her son with all her might as the only meaning of life. In such a situation, for the son, getting rid of the maternal complex becomes a fundamental task, without the solution of which it is impossible for his full development as a man.
Stage 2. Mastering your aggression
This is the time of the transformation of a teenager into a man. Aggression, the power of instinct, a huge masculine energy awakening in a boy's soul should strengthen his ego. In the future, this energy will be required along the entire path of formation, therefore it is so important to learn how to use it correctly. If a man is not particularly reflective, he will splash this energy all his life, showing a teenage desire to compete in everything he does.
Another way to mishandle aggression is to suppress it. This often happens under the influence of maternal attitudes about the inadmissibility of a man's manifestation of aggression.
For a boy to become a man, he must be able to master his own aggression. He cannot become a man without understanding what it means to be aggressive, but it must be aggression controlled in accordance with his conscious attitude. If he is ruled by his own rage and desire for violence, this can destroy him. Therefore, every boy on his way to a mature man must learn to master his aggression, the desire for violence and be able to integrate this formidable masculine part into a holistic, self-aware personality.
A bold look at your aggressive part, not clouded by other people's attitudes, allows you to recognize its negative, potentially destructive part. The ego of a young man is faced with the need to become strong enough to cope with his own rage and consciously use the energy contained in it to overcome obstacles that stand in the way of achieving goals.
The first fight a boy must endure is an internal fight with his own shadow, in which concentrated repressed aggression and potential strength... At the same time, very few boys manage to win only in an internal duel. Strengthening the masculine principle often requires the presence and overcoming of external obstacles that mobilize will and affirm identity.
Stage 3. Finding your own image of masculinity
The masculinity that the boy shows at the beginning of his journey is transferred to him from his father. Wanting to be like a man, the son tries to act like the father, but a pitiful imitation comes out. At this stage, the formation of their own conscious attitude to masculinity, which differs from the paternal one, takes place. Only in this case will the boy be able to appropriate masculinity for himself, which will constantly accompany him and serve as a support throughout his life. To successfully complete this stage, you may need another father, for example, a spiritual or godfather.
The essence of this stage is receiving a blessing for one's own life from a father, liberation from the influence of a father or brother. As he grows up, a young man should leave the family, entering into a struggle for his freedom with each member of his own family or with someone else, if this someone replaces his father or brother in such a fight.
If a man has a sudden conflict at work, it often indicates that there is still an emotionally strained relationship with his father or brother, despite the fact that adolescence is far behind.
Stage 4. Establishing contact with the inner woman
Few men are sufficiently aware of the inner feminine component of their soul, even less in contact with her. Jung called this sensual part of the male soul "anima." A man's desire for inner development helps him to recognize his anima, but besides this, a man should learn not to succumb to mood and emotional state and not to indulge his own whims.
The main step at this stage is to learn how to make contact with the anima, to see in her an inner companion woman, a comrade woman who will walk hand in hand with a man and warm life. A man has only two options: either he rejects his femininity, and this rejection turns against him in the form of attacks of bad mood or temptations inaccessible to him, or accepts it and establishes a relationship with the female life principle, and this fills his life with warmth and strength. If a man is in harmony with his inner woman, he has no problems communicating with women.
Stage 5. Realizing your own meaning in life
The stage at which the man already has the necessary resources and strength to respond to main question his life. This is a moment of realizing that a man is unique and alone in his quest. An energetic man stops active activity in the outside world and for a while withdraws into himself. This is the time to reach the maturity of the male psyche.
A man is ready to accept his loneliness, to which he is doomed to travel in search of an answer about the meaning of life. He is able to give up the obsessive conviction that this meaning lies only in his personal happiness.
In the preparation was used the book of Jungian analyst Robert Alex Johnson "He: the deep aspects of male psychology" (Robert A. Johnson "He: Understanding Masculine Psychology"). published
The need for responsibility
A man is a cosmic being, and a woman is an earthly one. In reality, this is expressed in the fact that a man is more guided by his mentality: thoughts, laws, ideas that he considers correct. And a woman lives with feelings, states, moods and spontaneous impulses, that is, with the energies of the entire astral body.
But why should a woman be held accountable? Where did this idea come from? First, a woman should be freed from material problems so that she can take care of children and the house - this is obvious and common knowledge. But there are also more subtle, psychoenergetic reasons. A woman has a lot of astral energy, much more than a man, because of which, under the influence of suddenly surging feelings, impulses, she comes into a state of anxiety or delight, fear or joy, panic or love, aggression or pacification. Many women are unpredictable for themselves.
We live in a difficult world, the astral energy of our cities is rather dirty, it penetrates into the woman's field and can suddenly cause her a state of discomfort. In addition, every woman has the usual physical, psychological difficulties and problems. If a man bears responsibility for a woman, knowing how to do this, he helps her with his mentality, a clear head, slowly sort out her problems, their causes, etc.
Women who live without men often suffer from a lack of male sexual, heart and especially mental energy. The urgent need makes these women all the time look for the sources of these energies on the side, which is very troublesome; sometimes women wedge themselves into the energy of other couples, there is a struggle, energy constrictions, etc.
Some modern women have a tendency to be responsible for themselves, but these ladies, alas, often do not trust anyone, they live in constant "combat readiness". Partially it will always be so, some percentage of women will always be "on their own mind", but it is very difficult for them to love. The appearance of a state of love often disrupts their life plans, prevents them from being independent, making a career and securing material freedom for themselves.
This is already a question of the choice of women - no one can order them to love someone, trust their lives, and stand under someone else's responsibility. Love among modern women too often turns out to be associated with suffering, and not the last reason for this is the inability of men to bear responsibility, even not knowing how to do it, and not understanding that this is generally necessary according to natural laws.
Women frankly admit that they are simply afraid to love and open up to men.
They often prefer to prudently process their subconscious, control men, keep their feelings closed, and men - under control, both in romance and in marriage. It's easier to survive this way, but what is the price?
And the price is as follows: she herself remains without the state of love, and her man and children also live without her energy of love.
Where do such children come from warmth, sensitivity and the ability to love themselves? So we raised a generation of cool, calculating tadpoles. They use the word "love" without realizing its real meaning at all; the concept of "alruism" seems to them an absurd invention, and their heart center is stuck in development in early childhood at the level of children's biological egoism. But we persistently grow their intelligence and strive to equip them with skills for survival, for a career, and teach them to worship professionalism in all spheres.
So, men's responsibility for women is needed like air, because without it women will not be able to love, their feelings need at least some guarantees, and not a life of fear: “if he’s quit - he won’t quit, changes - he doesn’t change, he drinks - he won’t get drunk, will be rude or not, it will break the subtle feelings in me or I will endure, earn a decent life, or again I will have to go into debt ”.
Responsibility is needed because without it women will not be able to unfold their feelings, they will have to restrain them; clamping feelings, they will not be able to love correctly, and not only a man.
Unfortunately, love for children in a family where a woman has no love for her father or has no love at all is painful. Children should bathe in an energetic atmosphere of sublime love for their father, then their heart center develops correctly. If this is not the case, then along with the energy of the mother, her fears, pain, and dissatisfaction with life fall into the hearts of children for years. This cannot be hidden behind smiles and gentle words, because children still live on the energy of adults - this is their food. Receiving such nutrition, their heart automatically begins to painfully perceive the world, people, relationships, wait for suffering from life and tries to close in advance in order to avoid mental pain.
With a closed heart, a person begins to look for where it can be opened safely, finds worlds where you can escape in order to live with your heart without fear, even if these are illusory worlds, - the main condition: this person should be comfortable there. And then drugs, alcoholism, same-sex love appear, and at best, life on the Internet or music addiction. Of course, weak responsibility for women is not the only reason for our troubles, but it is not the last either.
We will consider in detail only one option of responsibility, namely, when a woman loves; asks a man to take responsibility for her; and they live together.
Do I love him?
How to determine this? Very simple:
I am ready to give up everything without hesitation: work, city, husband and go with him anywhere - even to war.
He is a god, he shines; it is impossible to think about something else.
I am at a loss with him, what to talk about - I don’t know, my tongue grows numb.
I can’t flirt at all; tease, manipulate - and even more so.
Thoughts to get something from him, do not even enter the head, and if they do, then they are disgusting and ashamed.
How to behave is not clear, and in general the head is spinning ...
But with all this, I just have the right, according to natural laws, to ask him to take responsibility for me. Oh, how scary ... what if he refuses? What if he doesn't like me? And where did I get the idea that he needed? Well, I think I got ...
Does she love me?
It is difficult to determine if I have little life experience, but I will have time to think and check something before I decide to take responsibility for it. This is a very serious matter, since this kind of responsibility - the elder for the younger - is taken indefinitely. She will be like a daughter for me, and dads don't run away from their daughters. But she can leave as soon as she stops loving me, and a woman cannot be tied up with any promises - all according to the same natural laws.
A woman loves - as long as she loves, serves a man voluntarily out of love, and not out of duty, so she is always free in her feelings and choices.
Well, okay, if she stops loving me in five years, meets someone, falls in love and leaves - that's nothing, but if she doesn't leave? While she meets someone there, if she meets, and even children have a habit of being born, they are not cubs to grow up and become adult members of the pack in a year. How interesting is this love of hers?
Women rarely love all their lives, although this happens. Usually the feeling lasts three, five, well, seven years, and during this time a woman absorbs those qualities of a man that initially aroused her admiration. If she takes a break for a year, and then finds something new in me that she can fall in love with again, then it’s good, but if she doesn’t find it?
And what does a woman turn a man into (or is trying to turn him into) if she lives with him, but does not love? In a tool for fulfilling her desires, and she has a lot of desires, or rather, they simply do not end, especially when she does not love anyone, because if there is no love, life remains only entertainment.
Well, okay, but I need her, do I like her? Yes, otherwise why am I thinking about all this? If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t think, but I would run away from her and from this very responsibility, and I would have done the right thing.
Does he love or pretend?
The eyes are shining, it looks like I have at least six wings sticking out from behind me. ...
He does not argue, although we have been communicating for a whole month; ready to listen to me for hours.
Sometimes he looks at me for a long time, cannot tear himself away.
He does not flirt, sometimes turns pale, lowers his eyes, then raises them, and they flash.
He agrees to everything.
I could not get to know each other, I could not come up myself - I looked with all my eyes, but I could not speak. I met myself.
Probably still loves, but can I be responsible for her? What does she want tomorrow? What does she want from life? What is her upbringing, childhood, parents, fate in the end?
What can a man look at in advance?
It is desirable for a man, at least by some criteria, to consider the properties and qualities of a woman, on which his future life will seriously depend. What a man can feel and realize depends on his level, knowledge of women, people and, in general, life. We will consider many questions that a man would like to answer to himself, before he understands how to be responsible for his particular woman. But if he hasn't trained to scan people before, haven't studied female psychology, it won't be easy to find real answers to these questions. This requires observation and life experience, combined with a certain psychological practice.
What are your chosen chakras? What is she in general - white, black or striped? Belenkaya, as a rule, needs a calm, homely life, with a certain amount of entertainment - such as theater, a walk, guests, a trip. Black, on the contrary, needs to shine in society in order to gain enough energy: bright guests, noisy reception of guests at home, prestigious places that you can tell about later, prestigious clothes, interior. Well, the striped lady, of which the majority, will live white in some chakras, and black in others.
If your chosen one:
Black Ajna (6) ("third eye") - prepare for battles, attempts to command and a continuous desire to take a leading position. Her judgments will almost always have a harsh, categorical form, opinions will be expressed in a categorical form, and if you are even a little bicker, they will command you from trifles: "Put the kettle on" - to major decisions: "So, in the summer we are not going to dacha, and the sea! ". Even on dates, instead of a soft one: “Honey, I wanted to sit in a cafe ...” you can get: “Let's go to a cafe ?!”.
However, if she LOVES you, then, as paradoxical as it sounds, she will be very happy. if you argue with her, do it your own way, make her accept your opinion, in short - WIN. She needs a leader, she needs someone who is stronger than her, whom she can follow. The next day and in the future, I do not advise you to relax - she will attack again, such is the nature of black Ajna, and again wait that you can win. In the black nature, struggle and strength lie deeply at the core, so a bright life is provided for you.
White Ajna - it is easier for a man to immediately take a leading position. however, there are some subtleties here. A strong white Ajna is good at hiding her true attitude to the situation, and more - she is armed with stubbornness. When a woman with such a chakra is not satisfied with something, she will not immediately show it, she can suppress her reaction, not wanting a conflict, she can carry discontent or resentment for a long time, and the man will not guess about anything. And a month later, she suddenly explodes with discontent. which has already fermented inside, mixed with something else, and you will stand in front of your lady, blinking in a daze with bewilderment: “What happened ?!”.
Black Vishuddha (5) (throat center) - prepare for intense conversations, sometimes disputes, exchange of news, opinions, etc. A lady with black Vishuddha is usually an interesting interlocutor, but remember that this interlocutor already has a lot of information and she wants to communicate a lot with interesting people... If you do not have a large amount of valuable information or are generally taciturn, the woman will be bored, she will have to look for communication on the side. In general, a man has to be stronger and taller here as well.
White Vishuddha - willingly listens to your thoughts, but if you want the lady to be “yours” on this chakra, I advise you to read poetry to her, sing songs with a guitar or play at least one musical instrument. Ideally, these poems, songs, music - all your compositions, and it is desirable that she really liked them, and not listened out of politeness. However, this also applies to black Vishuddha.
Black Anahata (4) from your chosen one. It is not always easy to determine the heart chakra by external behavior. But if you look closely at how a woman treats close people, it becomes noticeable that she has a narrow circle of “friends”, which is jealously guarded. A woman with a black Anahata receives the energy she needs from these “friends”, which can be a father, girlfriend, mother or friend.
If such a lady falls in love with a man, she will, as it were, approach him in the astral plane (in the energy world) very close and embrace him with a field from all sides. She will make a man “hers” and will protect him if she is valuable and necessary to her. It is not easy for her to share energy with someone: a man's friends, relatives, and even more so - with other women. A woman with a black Anahata may well be a faithful wife, but she usually very insistently demands loyalty from her husband, negatively treats free relationships, considers treason a betrayal and takes offense in earnest.
White Anahata is much calmer towards “someone else”, but she also leaves the freedom to communicate according to her heart wherever she wants. If this chakra in a woman is strong, slightly open, not oppressed or broken, then it seems to be radiant - you often see glowing eyes, a cheerful smile, careless laughter.
And if it is closed due to some kind of mental trauma, fears, "breaks", then it is not always clear whether it is black or white. This is common in modern people- for both men and women.
Black Manipura (3) (navel center) is easily identified. A person always knows how much money he has in his wallet and where what item is at home, even in distant, rarely opened cabinets. Seeing the ladies she meets on the street, a woman knows how much a blouse, shoes, raincoat, skirt they wear, knows where it was bought and how fashionable it is. She herself seeks to dress in such a way that there is something to linger on - this feeds her chakra.
In pair, in family life a lady will need good money, clothes, a car, comfort, etc. She cannot imagine her life without shops, purchases, prestigious attributes. A man with lofty ideals can explain to his wife with black Manipura as much as he wants that this is vanity, earthly, that one must be above it. She can take it with her head, but she needs to feed the chakra with human emotional energy, otherwise it will affect her health.
White Manipura is calm, usually does not pretend to have prestigious material well-being. If the chakra is strong, not "eaten", a person (both man and woman) can work a lot, study, do things in a measured mode. Meeting the needs of a woman with white Manipura is, of course, easier. But if a man wants to advance high in his career, in business, he wants to climb up, he may lack this calm energy received from his wife. A wife with a black chakra is ambitious, wants more, collects energy from people on her chakra and pumps this hot energy into her husband, pushing him up in society.
Black Svadhisthana (2) loves to flirt, dresses sexy, in bed loves to tumbling exquisitely, etc. It is not difficult to define it, but sometimes problems arise during life together. The man liked a bright, sexually attractive woman, but he wants her to be like that for him and does not want to flirt with others.
She agrees, she is not going to walk, but where will she get the energy to which our hero was originally led? Sitting at home, making modest purchases in stores, the lady will not be as bright and passionate as she used to be for herself and liked her current husband. Previously, she flirted with everyone, met with someone, everyone looked at her and generously endowed her with energy, on which, by the way, that bright sex took place among future spouses
When you consciously take the path of spiritual development, you understand that the world will not be the same. Everything changes: attitudes and attitudes, actions and beliefs, the feeling of oneself and the perception of others.
As a result, every area of life undergoes changes, adjusting to your "new version".
This wave of transformations cannot but affect the sphere of personal relationships - relationships with your beloved.
The truth of life is such that often such a noble impulse does not meet with due understanding from the other side. Moreover, it is often suppressed in a rather harsh manner.
How grow with a partner and not feel the chasm in the interests?
Spiritual growth in relationships. Rules to help you grow together
1. The spiritual path is the path of knowing YOURSELF
It's tempting to go in pairs, however you can only know yourself alone.
Another question is that a partner, like the whole environment, helps you to find out about yourself what is revealed precisely in communication and interaction.
Typical reactions, judgments, patterns of behavior are manifested in dialogues with people and daily activities.
When you are faced with the resistance of a partner regarding self-knowledge in principle or regarding certain spiritual practices, at this moment you yourself go through an experience that is important for you.
What is it? For example, in respecting the free will of everyone, including a loved one, whom, as it sometimes seems, we have the right to influence.
2. Every person develops spiritually
Exactly! Every person on earth follows the path of spiritual development even if he himself is not aware of it.
Including the one who is mired in the 3D world, lives by instincts, causes pain and suffering to others.
Such a person is also on his way of knowing himself and the world.
Perhaps he moves slowly, going through similar scenarios from life to life. And perhaps in this incarnation he is called to help others to manifest themselves in the highest vibrations.
Indeed, it is in the most difficult life situations where there is a place for violence, betrayal and deceit, each person has a chance to express himself in a wide range of vibrations: from condemnation and hatred to what is happening to radiation unconditional love to everyone.
However, in order to grow spiritually and transform, not everyone will need training in the form of spiritual practices. Life itself will present events that will push to the necessary changes.
Take a closer look, perhaps your other half is just from the category who does not choose training, but studies life in the process.
If so, chances are good that you have a lot to learn. To do this, it is enough to expand your view of spirituality and include all spheres of life.
Then there will be many times more sources for inspiration and spiritual teachers.
4. Your experience is of value only to you
What worked for you at all will not necessarily help another.
If you see that your partner is not ready to try what worked for you, accept his right and do not try all the methods of a good manager to “sell” his way to change his life for the better.
You came to your experience, following a unique path, life itself led you to what happened to live.
Trust the flow of life and know - at the right time, the world will create the ideal conditions for the transformation of your partner.
And if you do not assume the role of “savior”, “teacher” and “inspirer”, but know that everything will turn out in the best way for everyone and at the right moment, then this is exactly what will happen.
5. Everyone has the right to their truth
There are many of us, and we are all different in our relative point of development. And they are united in the absolute greatness of the spirit.
The truth that we receive by strengthening our connection with the spirit is absolute and unchanging.
However, the interpretation of this truth depends on where each of us is in development. This interpretation is everyone's personal truth.
You may not accept the truth of your loved ones, you may not like it, but if you want your joint path not to be overshadowed by differences in views, accept that we are only interpreting the truth rather than passing it on unchanged.
6. Everyone has their own method
There are many methods of spiritual growth, and for everyone these methods work in different ways.
Someone will suit the religious path, someone is closer to psychological self-knowledge with a more scientific shade, someone prefers more mysterious and esoteric trends, and someone is engaged in the same self-improvement, studying various models of business management.
It is important to accept the right of everyone to make their own choices in this diversity.
In addition, the methods of knowing oneself can differ between men and women.
It is easier for women to join a group and accept a mentor. Men, on the other hand, prefer to obtain information on their own and, subsequently, to teach those who are close to him.
7. It is impossible to force a partner to grow spiritually, you can inspire
If you want to change the world, change yourself.
By his example, by his integrity, by his inner harmony you can inspire loved ones, including your partner, to follow you and your vibrations.
Influencing a person from the outside, giving reasons and arguments, you will be faced with a mass of arguments and arguments in response.
And a minus in this intellectual battle - lack of cordiality and that which does not require words, that which fills the space.
When you find inner balance, your thoughts are in order, you accept others as they are, while staying in the vibrations of love, you create a space around yourself in which it is just good for you and those who come into contact with you. ...
If you allow loved ones to cope with their life lessons on their own, supporting them with your love, you will find one day that you go through life hand in hand and reflect more light and less shadow in each other.
8. Everything we do, we do for ourselves
We live on earth to reveal and express ourselves, and not someone else.
Spiritual practices are more effective if you follow them based on the true desires of your heart, and not with the goal of inspiring loved ones to change.
Yes, loved ones may be inspired, but this is rather a pleasant bonus in working with oneself, and not the main life task.
If you see that a loved one is standing still and does not develop, this may also be a mirror of your movement.
As long as something hurts and upsets you in others, it makes sense to pay attention, what shadow aspect in you requires to be noticed?
You will be able to reveal the shadow aspects, release them and return, the talents given to you by nature, at the transformation seminar.
Continue on your own path, direct the focus of attention to bringing yourself to a state of happiness, peace and harmony, and allow a loved one to move to this state in a mode that is comfortable for him.
9. Focus on what you want to bring into your life
Your energy flows exactly where you direct your attention.
The moment you begin to identify any inconsistencies in your partner, you direct your energy not towards positive creation, but towards these inconsistencies.
By this, you spur your other half to prove yourself in what you do not like about him.
There is only one path: each time remember where you are directing energy and what you choose to see in your partner.
A good start is when you learn to notice that your partner is creating fertile ground for your uniqueness.
Often it is with our beloved that we experience moments of trauma and resentment, which gives a powerful impetus to internal transformations.
And paying tribute to these moments, expressing gratitude to your partner, you can even in the most difficult life situations find something positive that is worth focusing on.
And if your other half does not fully understand what you are passionate about, but in general looks positively at your choice, take some time to enjoy the kind of person who walks through life next to you.
10. You have your own process, your partner has his
There is a tantric practice that involves sitting back to back with a partner for extended periods of time.
As a result of the practice, it is important to achieve a comfortable body position for everyone and to feel peace.
Participants are faced with several observations. Someone is so concerned about the convenience of a partner that there is only one thought in his head: "How comfortable is it for him?"
As a result, each movement is perceived as a signal that something needs to be changed, while the partner is simply looking for a comfortable body position, without making anyone responsible for his search.
Someone catches himself thinking that the partner is selfish, thinks only of himself: sits, does not move and does not work in any way to make it comfortable for two.
And when everyone begins to calmly seek their own comfortable position, everyone becomes comfortable.
This is what we often do in life: we adjust to others, reproach them for not being attentive to our interests, think about what is happening to the other, ignoring our own feelings.
Instead of this focus on your own balancing process and let others do the same.
Whatever your path with the other half, remember the main thing: next to you is not just a person whom you have known for many years, but an individuality that grows and changes from day to day, just like you.
And if spiritual growth in a pair has for you great importance, be prepared for the fact that you still have a lot to learn in the person who is next to you.
Feel free to plunge into this depth and get to know yourself in the process of comprehending another.
Look into each other's eyes, connecting energy from the heart. And let this be the best joint practice that allows you to feel the oneness with all that exists.
Recently a client came to me, and I once again heard it.
- Well, why isn't he engaged in spiritual development? I'm working on myself, but he doesn't want to.
- What does he do?
- He works all the time and sits at the computer at home.
- Does the fact that he sits at the computer bother you?
- Well no. It doesn't develop. And I want my man to be active, to work on himself, like me.
- How do you see it?
- He goes to yoga with me, meditates, listens to lectures. Let him do something.
- Why do you need it?
- Silence. I am developing, working on myself, and he should.
I'm sad. I am also silent. This interesting, intelligent woman wants a man to develop as she sees. At the same time, he already owes her something. I wonder if he knows about it? I'm sure he's already in the know.
So, why not really have such a “spiritual” man nearby? Yoga together. If you stand in the camel pose - so for two so that no one is offended. In the morning you can meditate together, and in the evening you can cleanse the space with the sound "om".
But there is a possibility that after a month of such close, “spiritual” contact, partners will hate each other. Such cases are known to me. Joint interest in yoga or spiritual practices also occurs. But rarely. It happens, of course. You don't have to make an effort and "recruit" a man for this. If this did not happen naturally, then the man is improving himself in a different way. Through work, concrete deeds, helping other people.
What kind of men cannot be called “spiritual”?
From life experience, I know two types of men who enthusiastically developed themselves with the help of spiritual practices, meditation, yoga. But you cannot call them spiritual. The first man, 30 years old, flew to India every winter, meditated and studied "progressive" methods of working on oneself. At the same time, he happily lived at someone else's expense, without hesitation used the money of women and did not work anywhere for a long time. He explained this in one word - "karma". The main motive for his "development" was freedom. In this case, it is freedom from responsibility. He still has not created a family, apparently, "karma" still works. But he flies to India just as regularly, "pumping" his "spirituality" in the ashram of the Master.
The second man, 39 years old, had a family, two children and a family business. Family, children and business - already oblige to responsibility. But instead, he “developed spiritually” in a special way. Evenings and weekends, he devoted to communication with like-minded people and the analysis of "ancient texts". He meditated regularly and examined himself, enjoying this mysterious process in splendid isolation.
While in a relationship with his wife, the man had affairs with other women. He told them that his wife did not understand his "spiritual growth" and all the time required something from him. And she only needed to feed and raise common children. Simple, earthly concerns, of course, distracted our hero "from the most important thing." Therefore, he was looking for any way to get away from solving the pressing problems of the family and family business. Indeed, he succeeded quite well in "delegating authority", shifting his tasks onto other people. He subconsciously avoided full responsibility for children, for business, for family relationships. He withdrew and did what he wanted. What good was this “spirituality” to his children, who did not see their father? His wife, who accepted infidelity and resolved family issues alone?
What does such a man's departure into "spirituality" mean?
Fully immersed in spiritual practices, meditation, self-knowledge, many men unconsciously "run away" from the responsibility and difficulties of life. Of course, it is easier to meditate than to feed children and make a living. This is often done by men - "narcissists" who love themselves exclusively. This is a subtle form of spiritual selfishness. Both of our heroes belong to this category. And alas, this is almost impossible to influence from the outside. Narcissism cannot be treated with pills and injections.
“I do what is good for me, but I am not responsible for the rest,” - unfortunately, an infantile life position. This attitude will not lead a man to personal maturity in any way.
What is the "spirituality" of a modern man manifested in:
- He sets life priorities correctly and takes responsibility. Personally mature man knows what is important to him and puts it first. Family, loved ones, their own business. He bears full responsibility for this. In parallel, he can develop himself in any way. This does not bother anyone, but, on the contrary, helps.
- Chooses the main goal in life. Sets himself one goal and follows it. Through this he develops his spirit, his mind, his emotions and his physical body. A man cannot choose several vectors of development at once. If he does this, he will not get results anywhere. This is how it works.
- It develops through specific activities. A man is improving through a business that he chooses. By investing in work, he improves what he does, while developing himself. That is why it is so important for a man to always do something.
- Does what he has to do and keeps promises. Such a man bears full responsibility for his actions and for those around him. He does what he promised. Regardless of the "weather in the house" and the monthly precipitation rate on the eve. Everything is simple here.
- Loyal to my principles. He is true to himself. In any situation, he adheres to the principles that he understands. Even if someone doesn't like it, he doesn't change his mind seven times a day.
- Shows strength of mind and stamina. Solves any questions. Copes as best he can. Uses all means to get the best result for himself and for those close to him. Such a man does not run away to India and does not urgently fly to Tibet after dinner.
- He is generous and helps people. Treats people kindly. Helps relatives, friends, colleagues. Not to appear "good." Because there is no other way. That's right for him. At the same time, such a man prioritizes family and friends.
How a woman affects a man's spirituality
We look at men through expectation glasses. This is the image of an "ideal" man who does not exist in nature. Such internal filters of perception do not allow seeing the “seeds” of spiritual manifestations, which are necessarily present in every man. It is worth taking a closer look, and you will notice this very "spirituality". To one degree or another, this is present in everyone. It remains only to see what exactly develops a man for the current period. Encourage this by discussing his business, hobbies, communication with interesting people. Listen carefully to his conclusions and realizations, creating a space of acceptance. Sometimes you just listen. This will certainly help a man to express himself in concrete actions, bold decisions and good deeds.
Both will benefit from this strategy. And it is worth remembering that behind every spiritually developed man there is a spiritually mature woman.
Sophia Sulim, candidate psychological sciences, transpersonal psychotherapist, family and sex therapist, systems constellator, transformational coach and trainer. Member of the Professional Psychotherapeutic League and the Russian Association of Alternative Medicine. www.ssulim.com
Sometimes a very strong man appears in a woman's life with a powerful solar energy... And it is easy to feel it even with your back, the woman's body fully responds to it, her thoughts calm down, and the center of femininity, the womb, is filled with warm and radiant vibrations of life ...
Next to such a man, even the most active and dynamic woman with a daring character becomes a little chick, the whole bouquet of feminine qualities suddenly wakes up in her, she suddenly wants to cook for him, take care of him, clean the house, wait for him from work and maybe for the first time in her body deliberately sounds "I want a child from this man."
Usually it is with this man that she begins to understand the true pleasure of sexual intimacy, she feels everything especially brightly and strongly, femininity awakens in her at the hormonal level. She likes his smell, his body, his look and voice ...
Next to him, she may feel stupid and weak, but this does not bother her at all, but on the contrary makes her smile at herself and realize how pleasant it is to be weak at times.
Next to him, she does not want to argue, prove, measure intelligence with him, for the first time in her life she wants to obey!
A woman begins to flourish in this relationship, realizing the strength of this man and harmonizing through her. She begins to love not with her mind, but with her entire feminine being. Moreover, outwardly, it may be absolutely not her type, the wrong level of intelligence, the wrong level of spiritual development, completely different ... maybe not even beautiful, but simply strong, courageous and decisive, next to which her heart awakens to love.
And then (after a day / week / year of meeting him) most women make the same mistake: they begin to adjust to these men, serve, try to please him ... they stick to him!
Completely, head over heels! And then the questions begin: “What did I do wrong?”, “Darling, what didn't you like?”, “Darling, is everything okay?” etc.
“What to submit? What to bring? What can I change in myself for you? "
A woman is capable of anything to keep him. She feels that she is internally not ready for such a relationship, she herself is not yet ripe, and she is trying to compensate for her inner unpreparedness through external self-improvement, because it is insanely scary to lose ...
If you look deeper, then she does not even need him, but that state of awakened nature, which she feels, which overwhelms her.
Maybe for the first time in her entire life and only next to him did she feel like a woman!
How can you let it go?
And then hyper-efforts begin in an attempt to be the best, to match, to deserve ... which alienates the man more and more.
And in the end he leaves.
In most cases, such men appear in a woman's life and leave to show her how much she is not yet ready for a strong and mature relationship. After all, he needs not a slave, not a servant, but a woman who can be filled and whose love can be filled!
After he leaves, pain remains, the unbearable pain of returning to another reality, where you no longer feel like a 100% woman, where these are no longer strong hands and a confident look, where you cannot relax and feel ...
Now the woman is doing everything to get away from this pain. But believe me, it is better to live your whole life with pain, which moves you forward and develops, than to live without pain, but without love.
Pain - this means you have been given MORE energy than your current reserve can accommodate. And instead of expanding their reserve, women are trying to simply remove this energy from their lives, not realizing that by doing this they harm their formation.
Some of the women are trying to bring these men back by fasting, prayers and austerities, which only aggravates the situation. In this case, all austerities, fasts and rituals act simply like magic. A woman without a powerful revealed energy will need to perform austerities for several months in order to attract him again for at least a day. But then he will leave again, because the lesson has not been passed ...
I won't even write about love spells, because the fate of those women who try to master a man through magic is terrible!
Other women try to cut it off from themselves, and go to energies and healers to be cleared of this connection, which does not leave the head, heart and womb ... Which does not want to leave.
But it will be this man who will be incredibly difficult to cut off from himself, it will be he who will dream, appear in a crowd of people, it will seem that he will now appear somewhere, come out from somewhere, each phone call and each SMS will make a woman flinch with anticipation ...
It is such a man who brings the most powerful lesson of love and development to a woman's life.
Such a man comes and shows a woman how she can be, how feminine she is, how much strength she has ...
He teaches her to live in harmony with her nature, and he also lets her see and feel how much love there is in her!
After all, it is his woman who begins to love from the very first days of their communication ... It is for him that she has not passion, not love, but love, and she feels it with all her being ...
And that's why it hurts so much when he leaves.
If in your life there was or is such a man, then you were lucky and unlucky at the same time.
Lucky because few people in life are faced with real love, and you were given to love deeply, truly, with all your heart, with all your feminine being, with every cell of your body. And when a woman loves, nothing is impossible for her!
This love continues to live in you all your life, it fills your life with meaning. Moreover, when a woman with love and gratitude recalls the experience that she had with this man, then automatically at a subtle level she harmonizes, her energy is aligned, she recalls her femininity, her nature ...
And if you decide, take courage and begin to reveal yourself, allow, expand your boundaries, if you accept the loss of this man, but at the same time remain happy and full of unconditional love for him - you can be together, and this union will be incredibly powerful.
Unlucky because with this man you will be taken through the most severe stresses, with him you will be dragged to a completely different level of feeling of life.
And each new energy transition is always pain, crisis and depression.
Each time you become attached to it, they will take it away from you.
You will be inexorably taught to live happily and freely without getting attached.
You will be taught emotional maturity and unconditional love all the time!
But the happiness that you will experience from these relationships cannot be compared with any other experiences in life, the love that will fill your heart will make your life full of meaning and divinity!
This man teaches you to be a woman!
He showed you how you can love and feel - now your task is to maintain it.
If you want to be with him, then you do not need to learn how to scrub the house and cook food, you do not need to learn to be worthy of him in mind!
It is necessary to reveal in oneself love and a feeling of drive from life, happiness from within.
You just need to become a woman in the full sense of the word, real, feeling, emotional and able to let go.
And when you can calmly refuse him, but at the same time keep love in your heart and the joy of life, when you can be with him and not lose your head from euphoria, be calm and internally joyful - then you can stay with him!
Then life will bring you together again.
With other men it will be easier, easier, and with this it will be difficult, sometimes painful, but you will live, feel life and you will be filled with love.
If there was such a man in your life:
- Learn to be grateful to him, because it is these men who lead us to knowledge, to teachers, to God! Even through pain, but now we understand that it is worth it, right?
- Do not think about it and do not try to forget, just cultivate yourself and your strength.
When you learn to love yourself and be happy, your pain will go away by itself, and your relationship with him will either move to a new level or stop bothering you!
Why do we stick to such men?
Because they are strong masculine, they are realized in their nature, and this makes them incredibly attractive.
But the same process occurs with a woman: when she opens up in her nature, when she comprehends her depth, when she learned to love and maintain freedom, then she becomes magnetically charming, and she no longer sticks to men, but builds relationships on the principle of energetic equality.
Most women are now driven by the desire to own a man, but with strong man it will not work like that with strong woman... In general, it is impossible to own energetically strong people; you can only interact with them according to the principle of fusion of energies.
Therefore, drop the desire to possess this man, thank him for what he has discovered in you!
No matter what man you live with now, whoever surrounds you, all the same, every day you learn love, and if there is a person who awakens it in you, fill it with it!
Even if you are already married, and your heart is still fluttering from another man, do not give up love.
Just don't focus on the man, take the feelings he gave you and share with your spouse.
We enter into relationships not because of people, but because of their energy and states that we experience next to them.
Live in a state of love and gratitude, and God will take care of the rest!
Julia Sudakova
Source - http://top.thepo.st/1371221/Kogda-prihodit-silnyiy-mujchina